Alternative wedding readings

March 4, 2022 Gitte Monis

Alternative wedding ceremony readings for unconventional couples

If you are looking for some words that are a bit out of the ordinary, something that is a bit more poignant - a bit more ‘you’ - and not something you hear at every other wedding, I hope you’ll find it (or inspiration) below.

A small break from the celebrant’s own words to inject more meaning or fun, by adding a piece of prose or poetry that is close to your hearts can be easily done with a short reading by one of your guests. Of course, as a celebrant, I would be happy to perform the reading too, but a bit of audience participation really helps keep a joyful, heartfelt and inclusive mood.

Let’s start with some really short ones that can spice up a ceremony during sections. My all time favourite author will get us started:

Now, there’s a lovely reminder of the power of love. If you are after a more humorous way of saying that you’ll do anything for your love, try this:

If this is just not enough to express your love, try a more heartfelt one like this...

If you are after something equally profound, but in poetry form, try this…

I would like to watch you sleeping. I would like to watch you, sleeping. I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head and walk with you through that lucent wavering forest of bluegreen leaves with its watery sun & three moons towards the cave where you must descend, towards your worst fear I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief at the center of your dream, from the grief at the center. I would like to follow you up the long stairway again & become the boat that would row you back carefully, a flame in two cupped hands to where your body lies beside me, and you enter it as easily as breathing in I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.

(Variation on the Word Sleep) Margaret Atwood

Now, let’s have a more light-hearted one…

Love me when I’m old and shocking Peel off my elastic stockings Swing me from the chandeliers Let’s be randy bad old dears. Push around my chromed Bath Chair Let me tease your white chest hair Scaring children, swapping dentures Let us have some great adventures Take me to the Dogs and Bingo Teach me how to speak the lingo Bone my eels and bring me tea Show me how it’s meant to be Take me to your special places Watching all the puzzled faces You in shorts and socks and sandals Me with warts and huge love-handles As the need for love enthralls Wrestle with my damp proof smalls Make me laugh without constraint Buy me chocolate body paint Hold me safe throughout the night When my hair has turned to white Believe me when I say it’s true I’ve waited all my life for you.

Bee Rawlinson

And, finally, I want to share with you my all-time favourite words on love and marriage by the wonderful author, and humanist, Neil Gaiman:

This is everything I have to tell you about love: nothing. This is everything I've learned about marriage: nothing. Only that the world out there is complicated, and there are beasts in the night, and delight and pain, and the only thing that makes it okay, sometimes, is to reach out a hand in the darkness and find another hand to squeeze, and not to be alone. It's not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it's what they mean. Somebody's got your back. Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn't want to rescue you or send for the army to rescue them. It's not two broken halves becoming one. It's the light from a distant lighthouse bringing you both safely home because home is wherever you are both together. So this is everything I have to tell you about love and marriage: nothing, like a book without pages or a forest without trees. Because there are things you cannot know before you experience them. Because no study can prepare you for the joys or the trials. Because nobody else's love, nobody else's marriage, is like yours, and it's a road you can only learn by walking it, a dance you cannot be taught, a song that did not exist before you began, together, to sing. And because in the darkness you will reach out a hand, not knowing for certain if someone else is even there. And your hands will meet, and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again. And that's all I know about love.

(All I know about love) Neil Gaiman

Have I whetted your appetite for a serving of poetry or prose during your ceremony?

I do hope so! There are so many options for beautiful, funny or wholehearted readings from the literary treasure of the world. A humanist ceremony is the perfect setting for sharing some words that express how you feel, whether you are the centre of attention yourself or someone who would like to celebrate the superstars of the day.

I help my couples and families find fitting and fabulous readings for their ceremony by giving access to my ‘library of words’ and suggesting any that I know, if asked.

Get in touch, if you are looking for a celebrant that loves love and lovely words of love - or if you have any questions that I can help you with!