Alternative wedding readings

Here are a few of my favourite things: poetry and words of prose. If you need some inspiration for your ceremony, read on to find both heartfelt and funny readings that will enrich your humanist ceremony.

Alternative wedding ceremony readings for unconventional couples

If you are looking for some words that are a bit out of the ordinary, something that is a bit more poignant - a bit more ‘you’ - and not something you hear at every other wedding, I hope you’ll find it (or inspiration) below.

A small break from the celebrant’s own words to inject more meaning or fun, by adding a piece of prose or poetry that is close to your hearts can be easily done with a short reading by one of your guests. Of course, as a celebrant, I would be happy to perform the reading too, but a bit of audience participation really helps keep a joyful, heartfelt and inclusive mood.

Let’s start with some really short ones that can spice up a ceremony during sections. My all time favourite author will get us started:

“Love recognises no barriers, it jumps, hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.”

— Maya Angelou

Now, there’s a lovely reminder of the power of love. If you are after a more humorous way of saying that you’ll do anything for your love, try this:

“If you came to lay your sleeping head against my arm or sleeve,

and if my arm went dead, or if I had to take my leave at midnight,

I should rather cleave it from the joint or seam than make a scene

or bring your round. 

There, how does that sound?”

— (Let Me Put It This Way) Simon Armitage

If this is just not enough to express your love, try a more heartfelt one like this...

“I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again...”

”I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you...We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams...And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight...”

— Philip Pullman

If you are after something equally profound, but in poetry form, try this…

“I would like to watch you sleeping.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head
and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear
I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in
I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.”

— (Variation on the Word Sleep) Margaret Atwood

Now, let’s have a more light-hearted one…

“Love me when I’m old and shocking
Peel off my elastic stockings
Swing me from the chandeliers
Let’s be randy bad old dears.
Push around my chromed Bath Chair
Let me tease your white chest hair
Scaring children, swapping dentures
Let us have some great adventures

Take me to the Dogs and Bingo
Teach me how to speak the lingo
Bone my eels and bring me tea
Show me how it’s meant to be

Take me to your special places
Watching all the puzzled faces
You in shorts and socks and sandals
Me with warts and huge love-handles

As the need for love enthralls
Wrestle with my damp proof smalls
Make me laugh without constraint
Buy me chocolate body paint

Hold me safe throughout the night
When my hair has turned to white
Believe me when I say it’s true
I’ve waited all my life for you.”

— Bee Rawlinson

And, finally, I want to share with you my all-time favourite words on love and marriage by the wonderful author, and humanist, Neil Gaiman:

“This is everything I have to tell you about love: nothing.
This is everything I’ve learned about marriage: nothing.

Only that the world out there is complicated,
and there are beasts in the night, and delight and pain,
and the only thing that makes it okay, sometimes,
is to reach out a hand in the darkness and find another hand to squeeze,
and not to be alone.

It’s not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it’s what they mean.
Somebody’s got your back.
Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn’t want to rescue you
or send for the army to rescue them.

It’s not two broken halves becoming one.
It’s the light from a distant lighthouse bringing you both safely home
because home is wherever you are both together.

So this is everything I have to tell you about love and marriage: nothing,
like a book without pages or a forest without trees.

Because there are things you cannot know before you experience them.
Because no study can prepare you for the joys or the trials.
Because nobody else’s love, nobody else’s marriage, is like yours,
and it’s a road you can only learn by walking it,
a dance you cannot be taught,
a song that did not exist before you began, together, to sing.

And because in the darkness you will reach out a hand,
not knowing for certain if someone else is even there.
And your hands will meet,
and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again.

And that’s all I know about love.”

— (All I know about love) Neil Gaiman

Have I whetted your appetite for a serving of poetry or prose during your ceremony?

I do hope so! There are so many options for beautiful, funny or wholehearted readings from the literary treasure of the world. A humanist ceremony is the perfect setting for sharing some words that express how you feel, whether you are the centre of attention yourself or someone who would like to celebrate the superstars of the day.

I help my couples and families find fitting and fabulous readings for their ceremony by giving access to my ‘library of words’ and suggesting any that I know, if asked.

Get in touch, if you are looking for a celebrant that loves love and lovely words of love - or if you have any questions that I can help you with!