Your wedding should be a day to remember forever. And, as your ceremony is the first event of your big day, it should be as memorable as the rest of the day. You want your wedding day to be perfect, but what if the limitations of wedding registrars are not allowing them to make it as joyful and personalised as you would like? That is where humanist wedding celebrants come in. A humanist wedding celebrant can make your big day start out fun, meaningful and personalised, and completely free from the restrictions of a traditional wedding ceremony.

The limitations of wedding registrars

Wedding registrars in England are restricted in what they can and cannot say during a wedding ceremony. They are required to follow a set script and are not allowed to include many original or special elements in the ceremony. This can make the ceremony feel impersonal and lacking in meaning, particularly if you don’t conform to tradition or want to celebrate your unique story or different cultural backgrounds.

What if you want to include personal references, music in the middle of the ceremony that defines your relationship or a hand fasting ritual to “tie the knot” (literally)? A registrar can’t do that. What if your love story is essential to celebrate your union? A registrar can’t do that either - because they won’t even know you or your story.

These elements are often essential to the ceremony and the expression of your love to your partner. Worst of all, a registrar's script is likely too rigid and impersonal, and is not likely to capture your personalities and your unique relationship.

The joy of humanist weddings

Humanist weddings are the perfect alternative to traditional wedding ceremonies. They are tailored to the couple’s individual needs and beliefs, and allow for complete personalisation of the ceremony. Humanist wedding celebrants are not restricted in what they can say during the ceremony, and can include any symbolic actions, music, singing, and guest participation to make the ceremony more unique, joyful and meaningful.

What sets humanist weddings apart is their flexibility and creativity. With a humanist celebrant, you can design your wedding ceremony from scratch, and include any elements that resonate with you and your partner. Whatever vision you have for your ceremony, a humanist celebrant will work with you to create something unique and authentic.

Having the best of both worlds: Joy and legal contract

If you want to have a celebrant-led wedding ceremony, but you also want to make it legally binding, just separate the legal admin from the proper wedding celebrations. Start by having a legal registrar ceremony, which is a simple and quick exchange of vows in the presence of a registrar. This will make your marriage legally binding. If you book it midweek and ask for the basic ceremony (all register offices are required to offer this), also called 2 x 2 service, you can have your legal nuptials done in no time. With this booked, you can concentrate on planning a wedding ceremony fit for your dreams. You can have do the legal bit whenever you want - early on the same day, earlier in the week (most common) or even months in advance. Once you have the papers signed and witnessed, you can have a celebrant-led ceremony, which is much more personal and tailored to your preferences. This way, you can have the best of both worlds - a legally binding marriage and a unique, personalised ceremony that reflects your beliefs and values.

Alternative elements of a humanist wedding ceremony

Humanist wedding ceremonies can include a variety of symbolic actions that represent your love and commitment to each other. These symbolic actions can make the ceremony more memorable, meaningful, and inclusive.

Hand fasting is a very popular ritual that dates back to the ancient Celts, and is still widely used today. Hand fasting involves the couple’s hands being tied together with a ribbon or cord, symbolising their union and commitment to each other. The ribbon or cord can be of any colour or material, and can be chosen to reflect the couple’s personality, culture, or tradition. Hand fasting can also involve family members or friends who tie the knot, making the ceremony more inclusive and participatory.

Ring warming is another option for allowing your guests to feel involved and supportive of you as you mark and celebrate your love and relationship. It involves the wedding rings being passed around to each guest, who then injects the rings with their good wishes for your future. If you want to create a sense of community and support around your marriage, this is one part of your wedding ceremony that no one will forget.

If you want to get the party started in your ceremony, you could also include a sing-a-long to a fun song or have your best people perform a surprise element. Or, what about swapping the big proclamation with shots and a toast to everyone?

So, if you are planning your wedding day and want to make it unforgettable, consider a humanist wedding. With a humanist celebrant, the sky is the limit, and your wedding ceremony can be as unique and authentic as your love story.