How to incorporate personal wedding vows into your ceremony
Personal vows are the bee’s knees. Even if you are shy or anxious or feel like you are not creative enough. Don’t believe me?
Well…
83.3% of my couples in 2023 initially said they wanted to write and say personal vows in their ceremony.
The rest decided to do it after we had a chat about how I could help them and make them feel comfortable doing it …
… (except the one couple that decided to have me playfully summarise their personal vows they had already made in a legal Humanist ceremony in Scotland and they would respond).
Proof that personal promises matter
Just have a look at this short selection of couples creating their once in a lifetime moment of sharing their personal marriage vows, if you want proof of the beauty and uniqueness of that unforgettable part of a celebrant-led wedding ceremony…
Personal vows are beautiful, unique and unforgettable, and yet you might still ask …
How can a shy, anxious or self-proclaimed uncreative person become someone ready to stand in front of all their important people speaking their absolutely rawest and most personal words of commitment out loud? And what if you have no idea how to write them in the first place?
I’ll tell you how …
Become confident with your vows
Read some examples from other couples or made up similar ones (I have a set I can share with you)
Agree a structure between you, so you have a frame for support (I have examples of these too that I can share)
Decide what is important to you and your partner through working with a celebrant to create a completely personalised ceremony.
Visualise (literally go through every word and second in your head) or actually practice what you’ll say.
Have a supportive celebrant to lean on in the ceremony, who already knows what you’ll say and who has lead you gently to this moment in your ceremony.
Hopefully, you have picked up from the list above that a supportive celebrant can make all the difference in making your unique promises look, sound and feel just right.
Celebrants do it better than registrars
Know this:
You need a celebrant-led ceremony for your wedding to make sure that you can actually include completely original words of commitment in your ceremony. And that the rest of the ceremony is centred around your love story, the words you choose to tell it and how you express your love for each other.
A registrar usually have to approve any additional words you want to include before or after you say the required legally-recognised words within the ceremony. And, since the registrar ceremony is restricted in time and what you can include, you can’t be sure that your own promises can be included. You definitely can’t include any words that are spiritual or religious sounding (as a humanist celebrant, I do not lead religious content, but I would never stop you from saying or including anything that is meaningful to you).
Your best choice for creating a wedding celebration that is 100% you - including personal vows that truly matter - is having a ceremony led by a celebrant that has your back, all the way from planning to saying your own authentic vows.
What you can do right now
Get my free guide to wow with your vows, a complete walk-through of the how, what and why of writing personal wedding vows.
Find a celebrant that will get to know you, support you and lead a wedding ceremony that is just right for you.
I would love to have a chat with you to find out if I might be the right celebrant for you.
