How to make your wedding ceremony unforgettable
They wanted to feel relaxed and entertained, and they wanted to their guests to be part of the experience. Mission accomplished!
Kevin and Katie are clearly enjoying the flash mob choir of the friends, who have taken over the ceremony space, while the couple joined the guests to enjoy being serenaded. An unforgettable moment.
Your wedding is probably one of the few times you are gathering your closest friends and family all together at the same time. Wouldn’t you like them to think back at your wedding as ‘so you’. Even better, wouldn’t you love for your guests at the end of the actual ceremony feeling like they’ve experienced something remarkable and memorable - and like they’ve already started the celebration?
Here are some cool, some charming and some slightly crazy ways to make your ceremony completely personal and completely unforgettable.
People will remember how you made them feel
First of all, how would you actually like to feel during your ceremony - and how would you like look back at your wedding? I bet you don’t want it to feel exactly like the last wedding you attended as a guest. And definitely not like an ‘insert names here’ kind of ceremony.
Now, how would it feel for your guests? Because Maya Angelou is right: people will remember how you made them feel. With that in mind, get the vibe right. A great celebrant will do some hyping before the ceremony officially starts. This is a great way to create the mood and vibe from the get-go. I like to do a bit of call and response with guests to get them warmed up, maybe get them to practice their clapping and cheering in advance. This really gets your guests ready for a fun and informal ceremony with (optional) participation.
Here are some more ideas for making your wedding ceremony memorable and fun:
Make an entrance
This is your opportunity to make a statement and show your personality. Start by thinking about your vibe as a couple and how you want to present yourselves to your guests. Do you want to be grand or low-key? Do you want to be funny or romantic?
Stroll in to your favourite song - and don’t worry about it being sentimental or traditional. If ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ is your jam, then own it. Or maybe dance down the aisle (and why not take your crew as back-up dancers?)?
And don’t forget, it’s not just one of you who can make an entrance! You are both allowed to make an entrance - and it doesn’t have to be the same way. Or you could walk in together - show everyone you are in an equal partnership and stick it to the patriarchy!
Make your grand entrance ‘you’ and set the tone for the rest of the ceremony.
Include your wedding theme in the ceremony
When you add elements of your wedding theme in your ceremony you set the scene visually too. It ties everything together and creates a complete wedding experience that you and your guests will never forget. You could decorate the ceremony space in the same colours and style as the reception. How about hanging banners with stunning images from your life or meaningful words from your favourite song, a ceremony reading or even your first exchange of messages? Or you could hang one as a ceremony backdrop, like a flower arch or a boho macrame hanging, in design that reflects your theme.
Switch up the set up with a circle, winding aisle or free seating
Why stick with traditional seating arrangements? You could arrange the chairs in a circle around the ceremony space, or have guests seated around small tables cabaret-style, instead of rows. Or you could design an aisle that winds its way through the crowd, allowing you to see more of smiling faces as you walk up and down it.
How guests are seated can help create the atmosphere you want for your ceremony. It could be intimate or ambitious, arranged by connections or first-come-first-seated. Think about how people would feel about how they are sitting. Would it be more memorable to sit next to people you don’t well and make new connections? Is the standard set up of family at the front important to you, or would you rather everyone has the same, new experience? What would you like to remember when you look out at your community of love, all smiling back at you?
It’s a love story, please say yes… to taking a risk
Your wedding ceremony is a celebration of your love story and it should be shared in all its glory. But that doesn’t mean you have to only portray the polished version. Everybody that shows up to your wedding, do so because they’ve got you. They are your community and they are here to witness the real love you’ve got for each other. So show them by sharing your real love story. The one with the downs as well as the ups. It only makes your wedding more meaningful and memorable.
Your best friends probably know the real story of how you got together, but not everyone is likely to know the full story of you. Your celebrant can craft a fun and heartfelt re-telling of your love story that will have everyone laugh and cry happy tears.
So, don’t be afraid to take a risk and share personal anecdotes or funny stories that reflect your relationship. Your guests will love hearing about your journey to finding each other and what makes your commitment special. And if you share from the heart, they will never forget it.
Get your guests involved
Let your guests be part of your wedding, not just at it! Give your guests a little less conversation and little more action, baby. It’s easy to add a little guest participation and the impact is so great.
If you are including rituals, or symbolic acts or actions, you could ask the special people in your life to come join you in the ritual. A representative from each family could present a hand fasting cord and lay it over your hands before it being tied; your best friends can lead a sing-along for everyone standing next to you; special people could stand up and share a few words of marriage wisdom or well wishes or every to join in warming the rings before they are exchanged.
Part of marking your commitment is also acknowledging those that supported you, those that made you who you are and maybe the one that set you up! Why don’t you just do that directly? Take a moment in your ceremony to go hug them or give them a short thank you speech.
If you really want your ceremony to be unforgettable for your guests, you want them to feel part of the experience.
Sprinkle in some ritual magic
Fun and meaningful symbolic acts are a great way to add some magic to your ceremony. There are lots of both modern and ancient rituals that are not religious or patriarchal! And there are as many symbolic actions as you can create. Because you don’t have to pick something from a list, you can make your own. But if you do want to be inspired, check out a few ideas here (or have a look online, or my blog, for more inspiration):
Make your ring exchange a communal act by letting everyone take part in a ring warming, before you exchange them.
Personalise your hand fasting with macrame cords braided in your colours or ribbons made from cut offs from your outfits.
Plant a tree.
Exchange roses or gifts.
Jump the broom.
Mix a drink to symbolise the unity of your love and serve it to each other.
Wine box ritual
Rituals allows you a visual and performative element to spice up your ceremony and can add more meaning. But choose wisely. Don’t just do what everyone does, do what resonates with you and make the rituals your own. Then they will be memorable.
Include personal stories instead of readings
Do you have a close friend or family member who’s an amazing storyteller? Ask them to share a funny anecdote or words of wisdom during the ceremony. Or, imagine a few of your special people had secretly prepared a few words either about you or for you (for example, as humorous marriage advice) and stood up in turn to read them aloud.
Personal stories are much more memorable than the reading of a poem, but poems and other readings can also be very impactful - especially if they are a little, or a lot, out of the ordinary, or if the words already hold meaning for you (e.g. lyrics from your favourite song or lines from the film you both love).
Think outside of the ring box
Who says your ring bearer has to be a child? Instead of the youngest, it could be the oldest person to present the rings. The more unexpected or sentimental way the rings get to you, the more memorable. Fly them in with a drone, drive them down the aisle in a remote controlled toy car or simply ask the person that is most important to you. Dogs are excellent ring bearers too and a great way to include your pet in your wedding. Just imagine the photos!
Or maybe you don’t need your rings presented to you at all? But, you might still want to make the ring exchange special. It is, after all, a very significant moment in your ceremony. If you want everyone to feel part of this part, how about letting your rings pass around all your guests for them to inject their loving wishes and thoughts for your future together as a married couple? Just make sure the ring warming is performed with the rings in a bag, box or other container so no one drops or loses them!
Wow them with your vows
The moment where you take the spotlight and speak the words to proclaim your love and commitment to each other - the vows - is the one you want to remember. Your guests might not need to feel that involved in this part (and you could even choose to have secret vows, for no one else to hear), but you could also be brave and allow them in.
One way to make your vows truly memorable is by writing your own personal words of commitment. Whether you read them all out yourself (or memorise them!), repeat them after your celebrant or confirm in a call-and-response style vows, they can be completely unique to you. That’s the beauty of a celebrant-led ceremony - no ‘insert name here’ script.
There are many ways to get inspired to write your own vows and some celebrants offer help or guidance with writing them. You can use quotes and imagery from pop culture, literature and your own story. If you are stuck for words, you could go crazy and play ‘mad lib’ with your partner in the ceremony (when you reach a blank, let your partner fill it in!).
Your vows are the heart of your ceremony. So don’t be afraid to spill your heart. This is the moment to be raw. You can do it, either with the help of your celebrant, or by being brave. Your words are meant to be true, not philosophical, so you don’t need to worry about your writing skills.
Exit in style
The final part of the ceremony - the exit. Make this as fun and memorable as the entrance. Make it ‘you’ and make it last.
Before you walk off, why don’t you share a celebratory drink with all your guests? Have your helpers pass around your favourite drink (tequila shots?) and make your first toast as married folks. This is also another great place to give your guests the gift of participation: let your guests wave ribbons, Star Wars wands or sparklers as you walk down the aisle. Or provide tambourines, kazoos, or other noisemakers (left under seats) so guests can serenade you walking off.
Some crazier options for the crazy couples… Have your first dance after the vows and continue dancing down the aisle. Tap dance, moonwalk or walk off backwards. Do the soul train through a human tunnel of love, surf crowd over your guests or have someone carry you off on a human throne.
Just make sure you take your time to take it all in at the end. Stop and look at your community of love, walk slowly and stop for a kiss halfway down the aisle. You could even extend the end of the ceremony by continuing to walk in a big parade with all your guests to the reception - how about a band following you all the way, New Orleans style?
A final reminder:
Your guests won't remember all that was said and done, but they'll remember how the ceremony made them feel. If you want your guests to leave your ceremony feeling invested in your commitment and ready to continue celebrating your love, don’t include what is expected or “normal” for the sake of it, only do what feels right.
If you are planning a wedding and need a celebrant, or just a bit of advice, get in touch and let’s chat about how I might help you.
Want to know more about rituals, celebrants or humanist weddings? There’s more on my blog or on my page about weddings.
